Letters To

It's August 2, 6:46 a.m. as I write from Colorado. In a month, September 3, I leave for Spain. It's becoming more real by the day. There is so much to do, and I am constantly thinking and re-thinking. Of course, this week I am having my period. I suppose that is what is first and foremost on my mind, where will I be able to take care of those needs, etc. Once again, I am so grateful for having gone on the Vision Quest before taking this longer trip because of everything that I dealt with there. Somehow, I will manage. That's just all there is to it. Not doing this isn't an option. It has nothing to do with what anyone else might think, or even the loss of the money on the plane ticket...it's that I would have let myself down more profoundly than I ever have before in my life. And I can't, I won't, live with that. So, I'm going. I realize I may not finish, due to time, or other unforeseen circumstances. That is all right. At least I will have gone and mad...

Two more days left in July, then August, and then I'm on my way. It seems almost impossible that I'm actually going to do this, but I know I am. In the last few days, the "real world" has been trying to encroach on me; real world meaning in most cases "financial reality". This past year, I have been so blissful because I've had a pretty decent bank account, and haven't had to work full time. This will not be the case when I get back. I am working to make that all right. I am working on preparing various options to explore without letting the situation overwhelm me. And, still, be open to whatever happens on the Road, to who I will meet, the places I will see, everything. Today, after my walk, I drew a card from my favorite Tarot deck, the Osho Zen deck. I've worked with this deck for years, and it is completely amazing to me how accurate the cards are, or how "on target" the message is when you pick one. Today, my pick was 6 of Rainbows...

I bought my ticket for Spain. There's no turning back now, a pilgrim I will be. I have been turning that over and over in my head. I bought a set of Spanish flash cards today, and I've been taking private Spanish lessons for the last 6 weeks. I know it's all going to fly right out of my head the first time I, God forbid, actually have to SAY anything in Spanish, but at least I should be able to read signs and find directions which will be a good thing! All the planning and packing for the Vision Quest have come in very helpful. My pack is now much lighter than it would have been, and will probably get even lighter. And quite a bit of it will probably be stuffed with various "feminine hygiene" products!!! But, since I survived the, quite literal, bloodbath of the VQ, I think I'll be able to manage on the road. After all, I'll be stopping some place every night with running water, and with luck, showers. Checking the weather, I see it's 80's and 90...