Signs & Symbols

Monday morning. It's odd, working from home, working whenever I have work, being able to do a bit here and a bit there, that Monday would have any meaning as MONDAY, per se, but it does. There is still the "feeling" of beginning another week. I walked this morning, a long one, trying to get this heavy body and these old feet in some kind of shape for my upcoming trek. It's been hot here during the day, so I prefer to walk in the predawn hours, leaving somewhere between 5 and 5:30 am. It's a magic time. There's always a little breeze and the sounds of the birds and other day creatures waking up.
This morning, after I had been underway for a short while, I happed to look up at the lightening sky. There was the waning moon directly overhead, edges blurred by a few low hanging, wispy clouds. And, suddently, three black streaks flashing right overhead. Three bats!! They dipped and dived around me for a few minutes, and then they were on their way, probably to hide and sleep as the sun came up. I am always happy to see bats because I know they eat mosquitos, but for the last year or so, the bat has been especially dear to me. When I see them, I feel very close to my mother, who passed away last summer. Seeing those bats put a smile on my face and my long walk flew by, even with the dog having to sniff every blade of grass along the way to make sure she peed in JUST the right place!
Naturally, when I got home, I pulled out "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews. One passage in particular stood out to me: "The authors...refer to the bat as reflecting the traditional shaman's death--the breaking down of the former self through intense tests. It is a facing of your greatest fears--that it is the time to die to some aspect of your life that is no longer suitable for you.
"Most people fear transitions, holding onto a "better the devil you know than the one you don't" kind of attitude. If bat has flown into your life, then it is time to face your fears and prepare for change. You are being challenged to let go of the old and create the new."
Could that be any more right on? During my vision quest, I had to face all kinds of intense challenges, the physical challenge of bleeding, and societal challenge of bleeding and being in close proximity to several men that I didn't know very well, the challenge of heat, of being alone in wilderness, etc. This upcoming walk promises to offer even more challeges, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I KNOW that some inner part of me is going to have to die or be completely transformed, which is basically the same thing when you think about it. I work hard on having no expectations of the outcome, only that I know I will be different when I get back. I what way, I don't know, but any journey changes a person, and one like this, well, all I can think of is a catepillar into a cocoon into a butterfly. I hope that I may emerge triumphant and beautiful.
And so it is.
Blessings on you all.
Crone

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