Just stuff

It's Super Bowl Sunday and I couldn't care less, but that's OK. I'm also fighting off a horrible cold and that's NOT OK. I HATE being sick, and I'm not sick very often, or for very long, and when I am, I'm miserable. A hacking, coughing, wheezing, sneezing, miserable mess. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? But, after sweating my way through the night with a heating pad, and changing clothes a couple of times, I do feel better this morning. Trouble is, I promised my partner, G., that I would go with her to her ex's house for a Super Bowl party this afternoon. And everyone there smokes (I am a total nonsmoker, and she quit about a month after we met and hasn't smoked since). With a cold, smoke is even worse than normal. She has PROMISED me that we only have to stay about an hour, and I plan to hold her to it. In fact, if I look sick enough, folks will believe me when I say I'm not feeling all that great. Actually, I think that my ambivalence about this "party" is one of the reasons I got sick in the first place.

You see, I'm one of those wacko people who believe that all illness is caused by something that's out of balance in your life. It's not that I don't believe that there aren't germs and diseases, etc. It's just that I believe when your life is in balance and harmony, that those little critters can't really affect you. Call it a cosmic immune system, if you will. So, even though I agreed willingly when EX invited us to her party, and truthfully, I feel NO threat from EX in any way, there is some part of me somewhere that just plain doesn't want to go, and not expressing that is getting me all "stuffed up". See, makes sense, doesn't it??

That's not the only thing, either. Right now, I'm out of balance regarding my daughter and grandkids. I love them to pieces, but I do NOT want to be a full time babysitter, and I find myself doing just that. My daughter's life has been going through yet another period of major chaos, and so of course, Mom the Rescuer stepped in. Not as much as previously, but still. Somehow, I've GOT to find some way of letting my daughter manage her life WITHOUT feeling guilty about how it impacts her children. If anyone has any advice, and happens to read this, I'd love to hear from you.

Also, just wanted to post the link to this great site:

http://www.alesbianslife.com/

Lots of good stuff there, take a look.

Signing off for now,

Crone

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