Letters To

This morning, I took my last walk before I leave. Tomorrow, I have my last Spanish lesson, and I have a little work to finish. After that, I'll be spending time doing some yoga for stretching, some meditation for mental preparation, and some final packing. But, I think I got most of that done today. I just have to decide which Spanish notes I'm going to pack, along with my dictionary, and my little Spanish reading book, which is a great little compact, comprehensive overview of Spanish. I'll be reading that on the plane. I had moonlight on my walk this morning. The moon is waning from full, but there was still enough light to give me two shadows--one from the moon, and one from the streetlights that are still on at 5:30 in the morning. I kept hearing Cat Stevens' "Moonshadow" in my head. Today, I stopped for a little bit in Bessemer Park (see page 9 of the attached article), and enjoyed the fountain and the statue of the steelworker there. I had not seen that...

This is the waymarking logo for El Camino Santiago. This was changed within the last year or two. I remember reading various e-mails that were pro and con. To me, it vaguely resembles the outline of a scallop shell, but I can also see a sunrise, which is not an inappropriate symbol for the Way, except that most people would be walking westward, and therefore wouldn't see too many sunrises. However. That's not the subject of my post, I just wanted to put it in here. Today, I walked in the mist. Once I was dressed and ready, I stepped outside on the back porch and realized it was very cloudy and misty. Not quite drizzling, but almost. I thought, should I try the poncho on for size? Then, no, it wasn't that big of a deal, and if it seemed like it was getting worse, I could stop under a tree and get out the poncho. But it was beautiful. All the streetlights and car headlights were surrounded by halos of mist, silvery and shimmery. I could easily believe that I might have been s...

Just a quickie walk this morning, maybe 2 miles? I was taking E. to school again today, so wanted to make sure I got back before my daughter arrived with him, Glena still being asleep. Now, it's about 5pm, and I'm supposed to be getting ready for my Spanish lesson at 7pm, and my brain is mush, and I am just wasting time. I spent today with some work (done by 12:30), then unpacking and re-packing my carry on bag. I ditched some more toiletries (or however you spell it), and a couple pairs of socks, but it still heavy. Plus I consolidated some of the ziploc bags. I really don't think I'm bringing anything that I won't use. I need to weigh this thing before I leave, because I do NOT want to be over some kind of weight limit for the airlines. I'm about 99% sure I'm safe going out, as I'll have all the stuff split up into 2 bags, but I don't know about RyanAir. Guess we'll see, right? Anyway, back to Spanish. I found this great little dicti...

So, I didn't walk this morning. I took my grandson to school instead, but that's OK. Tonight I have my final reflexology session with C, reflexologist and friend extraordinairre. Then dinner with another friend who had not been able to make it to my ceremony. Right now, I'm doodling around on the 'Net, waiting for some work. I should walk or yoga or do some Spanish, but really what I'd love to do is just crawl back in bed and sleep for a few hours. I did find a decent map of the Camino, if anyone is reading this and is interested. For the readers who may not know, any word in a post that is highlighted probably has a link to another site. So if you click on the highlighted word, you should go to the link, and then can get back here by clicking your back button or arrow. Yesterday, I bought luggage tags and a new set of eye shades. Both very important. I put on the eye shades to try them out (they are a kind of "molded" shape; I felt like a bl...

I am having a love affair with Ziploc double zipper gallon-sized bags. I have pretty much packed everything I'm going to take with me in these bags, INCLUDING a 35" x 70" bath towel . I have also given up a few for weight considerations. I gave up a second flashlight/fan combo because once I put it in the mesh bag I was putting my "keep handy" things in, the bag just got too heavy. I gave up my 2nd ExOficio vented and pocketed overshirt. One should be enough. I gave up my new white wicking t-shirt because, well, you know, I have no idea how dirty I'm going to get, and it's WHITE for goddess' sake. WHAT was I thinking? Plus, as a large woman, I figure it will be easier for me to by shirts in the mens' departments "over there" than it will be to find pants big enough to fit me. Because, you know, every single woman I've ever seen that was from Europe was thin enough to be slid through a mail slot. Not to mention being about 5" sh...

Today, I was back on the walking road, out the door before 5:30 a.m., but not with pack, because I am still in the throes of trying to figure out the best way to manage all my "stuff". So, out the door, down the road. I have figured out a good route that's about 4.5 miles, and takes me down major streets where, if necessary, I could stop for a bathroom break. Very important to 50 year old women, these bathroom breaks! It's that lovely time of year, the days are still long because of daylight savings time, but despite our ongoing manipulation of the clock, it's still darker longer in the mornings, and it's getting darker earlier in the evenings. You can't fool Mother Nature, no matter what the clock might say. So, the stars were still out when I left, Orion standing guard at my right as I headed a couple blocks east, then turned north. I smelled skunk, and thought I might have seen one up the road a bit, but a truck came along, and blocked my view, and when...

Do I need to say anything else?

Last night was amazing. I can't even describe it. As I thought, exactly those who needed to be here, were here. Even the weather was amazing. As K called in the spirits of the mountains that surround us here in Colorado to be with me on the journey, the thunder and lightening picked up, it started to pour rain, and it hailed. This went on for a few minutes, and then passed, leaving everything washed and cleansed, even as I was. Then, to symbolize this being the beginning of an entirely new life for myself, G. shaved my head. It was funny, scary, intense, daring, amazing, an entire gamut of emotions. Thank you to A., who took pictures! I thought about the ceremony all day today, and how wonderful I felt sitting in circle with the 7 women who came to the ceremony, plus my wife, G. I realized that they are my tribe. That's the word that came into my head, and it is so true. Now, I don't see all these women every day; some I don't see very often at all, but we are all hea...

Tonight, my shaman/teacher, K, who led our Vision Quest, is coming over to do a blessing ceremony for me, my journey, my stuff, and G. is going to shave my head. Whew! Guess I should have her take a couple of "before" pics. Not that I have all that much hair to begin with--I've always been a short-hair girl, but I was thinking about it today, and the signficance was making me all emotional. It's my own personal symbol of being reborn into the 2nd half of my life. It's a lot to take on. This ceremony is making the whole trip, the culmination of 7 years of planning, thinking, wondering, and walking, a reality. I'm going to do it. Well, I'm going to attempt it, and I feel reasonably confident that I'm going to do it! I have the time, and I have (I hope) the money. It will be fine. All will be well. I have no idea who's coming. I sent an e-mail to about 10 of my closest "spirit sisters", but no one has responded. Today, I called...

Less than two weeks. That's all the time I have left to get ready. I have to consolidate all the STUFF that's lying on my dresser into some kind of organized chaos, so that I can stuff it into my pack and/or my carry on. I have to call bank and c.c. company to let them know I will be out of the country and not to block my debit/credit card if I try to use them. I tried today to get in to see my new doctor at the Health Department, but of course, she's booked, and, of course, I let too much time pass before trying, so that's really my fault. I am walking approximately 4 miles per day in the morning. It's getting easier, even with the pack; however, I did have kind of a scare on Sunday. Sunday, I walked the 4 miles (mas o menos) to our favorite coffee shop. I actually arrived before it opened, having given myself an hour and a half to get there, so felt good about that. After I arrived, I called G. to come and meet me. She did, and brought a basket of tomatoes, as see...

This is my mom, Joan, who passed away July 11, 2006, after a long battle with diabetes. This picture was taken the day after Christmas, 2005, and it's one of the best of her I had seen in a long time. This is how I remember her, smiling, just about to talk--boy that woman loved to talk!! I am who I am because of her, probably more than anyone. I am walking for her as much as for myself. She needs to be here so people can see her. I love you, Meeps!

Boy, I make a mean cup of coffee! Sitting here, after my walk, and shower, it's just the best. Yesterday, it was so hard for me to get up and walk, so I blew it off, but I do feel so much better when I get out and get the wind on my face before the sun comes up. Last night, we had a HUGE thunder/rain storm all up and down the Front Range. Much needed rain, and the light show was incredible. These days, anything like that makes me wonder how I will manage if some kind of storm, etc. comes up when I am walking and far from shelter. Hmm. I suppose I will get wet, and then dry off after it stops raining, or arrive eventually at a place where I can wash and dry my clothes. I am packing most things in plastic bags, just in case. So, on to today's card. The King of Fire - Creator. Again, a very appropriate card. Fire cards two days in a row, which is totally appropriate as fire represents action, and doing. Lots of that going on these days! Here is the brief quotation: "The King ...

So, it's about 5:30 p.m., and I had a big transcription file to do today, and I got about 15 minutes into it, and I just HAD to go lie down and take a nap. I don't know what that was all about. I didn't walk this morning, but did about 4 miles yesterday, feeling good, so I'm encouraged. The card I got today is 8 of Fire, Traveling. Appropriate, don't you think? It..."indicates a time of movement and change. It may be a physical movement from one place to another (true enough!), or an inner movement from one way of being to antoher." I'm sure that's totally going to be the case. I'm probably going to stress myself out about this whole trip way more than I should. It all revolves around bodily functions. I don't mind being alone, don't mind the thought of being in a country where I don't speak the language very well, don't mind the physical requirements. But, ah, the bodily functions. SIGH. We are so tied to our bodies and their ...

Happy Friday! Just a bit before 7:30 this morning, I am back from my walk with the dog, had a shower, got a cuppa here with me, and just finished eating a buffalo burger that I cooked on the grill the other night. Last night's dinner was popcicles (it was hot last night!), so I was hungry this morning when I got back from walking. My pack is coming together. My "alternate" pack is also coming together. I'll be having my blessing ceremony here at the house on the 23rd. I found out I can fly back to London directly from Santiago. I've got my passport, and my Pilgrim's passport, which get stamped at each alburque to prove that I've walked the Way once I get to Santiago. I have my boots and my sandals. I have my clothes and my socks. I have a very good Spanish/English dictionary. If I had to get up and go today, I could. That's a good feeling. Yesterday wall all day in Denver. I really enjoyed meeting Andrea and Steve, and being able to share some of our p...

Thursday morning. In a little while, Glena and I go up to Denver to take her to the VA for an appointment with a podiatrist. Additionally, we're also going to stop by and meet the folks I have been doing transcription for for the last several months. We are also taking loads of fresh produce to them! Here is today's card: 4 of Water, Tuning In. I like this card a lot. I like the colors, and the "mood" of it. To me it feels very calm, and calm is what I am going to need a lot of over the next few weeks. Here is the card's message: "To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blessings. It is what meditation is all about, really--not chanting a mantra, or repeating an affirmation, but just watching, as if the mind belongs to somebody else. You are ready to take this distance now, and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama. Indulge yourself in the simple freedom of Tuning In whenever you can, and the knack of ...

I went back and searched both my blogs, because I thought I had posted this story, but I guess I didn't. Anyway, here's my other bat story... My mom passed away Tuesday, July 11, 2006, in Atlanta, GA, where she had lived since 1967. G. and I had arrived at her house from Colorado on Sunday evening, went to see her in hosp. on Monday morning, where she had been in and out of ICU for a bit over a month. She initially went in to have treatment for a diabetic foot ucler, then progressed to breathing problems because of CHF, and the night they released her out of ICU and into a regular room, she had what we later found out was a cardiac arrest, coded, and they revived her. Well, after they "revived" her, basically she was on a vent and pretty non-responsive. Anyway, when I visited her, she was back in ICU, and unable to speak, but she recognized my voice, and she looked at me when I asked her to, blinked when I asked her to, and so I know that she knew I was there. My sis...

Monday morning. It's odd, working from home, working whenever I have work, being able to do a bit here and a bit there, that Monday would have any meaning as MONDAY, per se, but it does. There is still the "feeling" of beginning another week. I walked this morning, a long one, trying to get this heavy body and these old feet in some kind of shape for my upcoming trek. It's been hot here during the day, so I prefer to walk in the predawn hours, leaving somewhere between 5 and 5:30 am. It's a magic time. There's always a little breeze and the sounds of the birds and other day creatures waking up. This morning, after I had been underway for a short while, I happed to look up at the lightening sky. There was the waning moon directly overhead, edges blurred by a few low hanging, wispy clouds. And, suddently, three black streaks flashing right overhead. Three bats!! They dipped and dived around me for a few minutes, and then they were on their way, probably to hide ...

It's August 2, 6:46 a.m. as I write from Colorado. In a month, September 3, I leave for Spain. It's becoming more real by the day. There is so much to do, and I am constantly thinking and re-thinking. Of course, this week I am having my period. I suppose that is what is first and foremost on my mind, where will I be able to take care of those needs, etc. Once again, I am so grateful for having gone on the Vision Quest before taking this longer trip because of everything that I dealt with there. Somehow, I will manage. That's just all there is to it. Not doing this isn't an option. It has nothing to do with what anyone else might think, or even the loss of the money on the plane ticket...it's that I would have let myself down more profoundly than I ever have before in my life. And I can't, I won't, live with that. So, I'm going. I realize I may not finish, due to time, or other unforeseen circumstances. That is all right. At least I will have gone and mad...